Kobe Bryant vs. Derek Jeter: It's No Comparison

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Dear Henry,
      As the madness of Kobe Bryant's last game wears off, I wanted to share a few reflections. For those of my thousands upon thousands of readers across the vast expanse of the universe who perhaps do not follow the NBA, let me provide some background: At the beginning of this year, Kobe Bryant, undoubtedly one of the greatest NBA basketball players of all time, announced that he would be retiring after the season. Since his announcement, every game he played was part of a grand farewell tour, where people flocked to the games to watch his lousy team play. Fans from all over the country gave him thunderous ovations, acknowledging their appreciation for his contribution to the game of basketball. This week, as his final game approached, Kobe was the talk of the World. His nickname is the Black Mamba, and Twitter declared yesterday, April 13, his last game, to be #MambaDay. Kobe was the talk of all the Sports Talk Shows in the country.
     What I wanted to write to you about today though, is not about Kobe's career. Nor is it about how I personally find the whole Farewell Tour concept that he embraced to be distasteful, as it removes the focus from his team, and places it squarely on himself (in contrast, by the way, with how Peyton Manning walked away from the game.) What I wanted to write, oh Henry, is about a tweet I saw earlier in the week from the one and only Skip Bayless. Skip excitedly announced to his 1.8 million followers that on his show, The First Take, he would be debating with Stephen A Smith on the topic of who had a better career: Kobe Bryant, or Derek Jeter. Upon reading this seemingly innocent inconspicuous tweet, I felt a little bit of my Wheaties start to come up in my mouth. I thought to myself how Skip apparently did not read my brilliant masterpiece blogg about Snoop Dogg. I thought to myself, how truthfully, we can never compare any two people because everyone is so different and has such a unique set of life circumstances. BUT, if we do compare athletes, perhaps it would make sense to compare athletes in the same sport. And if we do compare athletes in the same sport, perhaps it makes sense to compare athletes who play the same position. And if we do compare athletes who play the same position, it makes sense to compare athletes who played in the same era. Thus, perhaps it would make sense to compare Kobe Bryant, a shooting guard, to other great shooting guards in the league at the time, like Dwayne Wade, or maybe even Michael Jordan, who briefly overlapped with Kobe. That, oh Henry, kind of makes sense,
      But to compare Kobe to Derek Jeter? Why do we need to do that? Can't we be content with the notion that they were both legendary athletes in their respective sports? Why can't that be good enough? Why do we need to compare apples with oranges, pickles with ground beef, and pianos with the beautiful tulips in my garden ? Each athlete had a unique role on his respective team, each won five championships, each was enormously successful. Do we say that Kobe was the better athlete since he could nail the three pointer better than Jeter could, or do we say Jeter was better because could snag a ground ball coming to him at short stop? What on earth am I missing? Why do we always have to be comparing people to each other? Why can't we just stop and appreciate each person's inherent worth in and of itself? Why can't we suffice to stop and acknowledge the impact each player had on his own team and sport?
      We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, and we need to stop comparing others to others. Every human being is unique and has a totally unique purpose in this world. We need to hope that each person realizes his/her mission, and becomes the best him/her that he can be. As I alluded to above, and as I quoted on these pages in February, we need to follow the example of Snoop Dogg: We "got to be doin' me. I don't know how to do nobody but me. It's hard doin' you but I could do me very well." 
      As a life long fan of sports, I am tremendously grateful that Kobe Bryant did Kobe Bryant and that Derek Jeter did Derek Jeter. We sports fans could not have asked for anything more.

Forever yours,
Danny Wolfe

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How to serve G-d with Joy in a Terrifying World

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Dear Peyton, 
        This year, more than any other year in recent memory, the reading of the tochacha, the fateful curses upon the Jewish People comes with a certain dread. Reading how "Hashem will cause you to be struck down before your enemies" and, "your carcass will be food for every bird of the sky and animal of the earth," just isn't sitting so well. Reading about how "Hashem will carry against you a nation from afar, from the end of the earth as an eagle will swoop, a nation whose language you will not understand that will cause you to perish, and besiege you in all your cities, until the collapse of your high and fortified walls in which you trusted throughout your land" cause me to tremble. These verses, which we read every year, remind me of the state in which we currently find ourselves. They remind me of how our government is preparing to give a hateful regime whose sworn to destroy us the green light to develop a nuclear infrastructure. I am no historian, but one thing I have learned as a young man whose great grandparents marched valiantly to the gas chambers, is that when a tyrannical hateful dictator pledges to murder you, we ought to believe him.  
        As we read the tochacha, we are reminded how difficult life can sometimes be. We see this on a national level; we are seeing this on a communal level, and after a ten day stay in the hospital for my precious child, I have seen this on a personal level.
      I believe that it is also of no coincidence that we read of these terrifying curses on the eve of reciting selichos, as we prepare ourselves to stand before G-d in judgment. I have read about how Elul looked in Europe in the 19th and 20th centuries; how there was a dread of aimas hadin in the month preceding Rosh Hashana. The fact that people's lives were in balance was very real to those who lived in Europe; the feeling was palpable. It wasn't until this year that I ever came close to experiencing that fear, that pachad nora. But as I sat earlier this week saying Psalms while my baby was under anesthesia getting her third MRI in a month, I got a glimpse of this fear. I sat there, terrified of what the doctors might find. A feeling of total helplessness overtook me. There was simply nothing I could do to affect the result. For those who aren't aware, an MRI is a Magnetic Resonance  imaging machine which is a medical imaging technique used in radiology to investigate the anatomy and physiology of the body in both health and disease.  And it occurred to me that is exactly what every single one of us experiences on Rosh Hashana. The machzor quotes a Mishnah in Rosh Hashana which portrays a very clear image of what happens on Rosh Hashana: All of humanity stands before Hashem like sheep pass in front of a shepherd who counts and analyzes each sheep." There is no hiding anything from an MRI. On Rosh Hashana G-d analyzes us, and there is nothing that goes unnoticed. This is terrifying.
        Furthermore, the Torah itself gives us a very specific description of why the terrible curses will be unleashed upon the Jewish People. It's not because of our previous propensity towards idol worship. It's not because we neglected Torah Study or were lax in our Shabbos observance. Rather, the Torah says, this fate will fall upon us, "because you did not serve Hashem, your G-d amid gladness and goodness of heart..." The penetrating question that comes to mind, is for one, how can we even function, how can we move on when we are living amid such fear? And even if we are able to cope, how exactly are we supposed to serve Hashem with joy, given the current state of affairs nationally, communally, and personally? How can we be expected to excitedly live our lives as ovdei Hashem given the depressing, downright scary situation we find ourselves in?
       The truth is, I think there are a number of answers to this. One answer is even written explicitly at the beginning of the parsha: "v'samachta b'chol HaTov Asher Nasan Lecha Hashem Elokecha Ul'veysecha..." "You shall rejoice with all the good that Hashem has given to you and your household..." I believe this means you should focus on the amazing things Hashem has blessed you with. No matter how bad you have it, you are still endowed with many special gifts. If you can't hear from one ear, but can hear from another ear, that is a fantastic blessing. If you cannot walk, but can hear and see, that is a priceless gift from G-d. No matter how bad things are, as long as your heart is beating you have what to be enormously grateful for. As we say in Tehillem, and the Gemara in Shabbos brings, "Lo Hameisim Yehallelu Kah...V'anachnu nevareich Ka m'atah v'ad olam..."
       But what I wanted to focus on today was a different way that we can serve G-d with joy, even amid the trepidation we feel in our daily lives. This reason is reflected repeatedly in the Rosh Hashana Liturgy. Through the gorgeous Avinu Malkeinu prayer, we say every single day except Shabbos from Rosh Hashana until Yom Kippur that the One deciding our future, and analyzing us is not only the King of the Universe, but He is also our Father. Our Father, who loves His children more than it is even possible to fathom. It is not some distant, cold judge who is passing judgment upon us, it is our loving Father who only wants what is best for us. 
    On a similar vein, we read the piyut by R' Shlomo ibn Gabriol "Mimcha, Elecha, Evrach." "From you, to you, I escape." This cryptic piyut might very well allude to the fact that as a result of our fear of judgment, we seek to run away from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. But then when we realize that it is our Loving merciful Father that is deciding our fate, we turn around, and escape, find refuge, in His loving embrace. When we understand, and are real with the fact that our Judge is the Almighty, who has a plan for us and the world, and who is only good, we realize that the fear begins to dissipate. 
      On the morning of July 15th, after hearing the terrifying news that my 6 month old daughter Tzippora Bracha had been sent by ambulance to another hospital to treat her severe meningitus, as I drove towards the hospital, with tears flowing down my cheeks, the song that 'randomly' began playing from a list of several thousand songs, was a song by Shlomo Katz called Min Hameitzar. As helpless and utterly alone I felt, as I heard the magical words composed by Dovid Hamelech, "Hashem Li Lo Ira" Hashem is with me, I will not fear." I realized, as Rebbe Nachman said "V'afilu b'hastara, Sh'betoch Hastara B'vadai Gam Sham Nimtza Hasheim yisborach." "Even in a concealment within a concealment, Hashem, may He be blessed, is certainly there." 
         During this frightening time let us not forget that Hashem is with us every step of the way. And let it also not be lost upon us the fact that the MRI comparison is absolutely flawed. Because unlike when a person gets an MRI, in which the person has zero control over the outcome, as we pass before Hashem, we have every opportunity to alter the outcome through heart felt teshuva.
        I would like to conclude with a prayer taken straight from this week's beautiful parsha: "Gaze down, from Your holy abode, from the heavens, and bless Your people, Israel, and the ground that you gave us, as You swore to our forefather, a land flowing with milk and honey." 
May we all have a beautiful kesiva v'chasima Tova.

Forever yours,
Danny Wolfe

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Killing Jews is Protected in the First Amendment?!?!

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Dear Henry,

      A few days ago, as I was doing my bi-minutely perusal of the social media, I noticed a headline to an article that caught my attention: "'Killing Jews is Worship' posters will soon appear on NYC subways and buses.'" Now growing up in  the mountains, I have seen my fair share of bigotry. In a high school basketball game, a guy made the mistake of attempting to shoot over me. I proceeded to stuff him like a Thanksgiving turkey, and then he called me a dirty Jew. One time after a guy got called for a foul on our home court, he said, "man these refs are so Jewish! (They were not) I looked up at him and boldly said, "that's not very nice!" But Henry, I have never, ever, experienced someone explicitly calling for the killing of the Jews.  Not in this country at least. It's one thing when a nutty fanatical regime in Iran that for some reason the United States wants to imbue with nuclear power calls for our elimination and destruction; but for that message to appear on a city bus and subway cart in the most populated city in our country?!? I mean, the First Amendment is great and all, but it should protect a call to kill and eradicate an entire religion? So I did what any good Jew would do, and I immediately picked up the phone to call the ACLU. But as I realized I didn't even know their phone number, I told myself, "slowdown cowboy, before making that call, I am going to go ahead and ask you to first read the article to understand the context. "Great idea Dan-o," I responded to mysef. Let's give this article a good old fashion looksie."

       Henry, I will be 100% honest with you because I owe it to you, and my thousands of readers to keep it real: I was shocked at what I read. I was fully expecting to see some fundamentalist Islamic group behind the ad, and I was ready to be furious and to then call my senators to ask how this is allowed to fly. But as I scrolled down the article, I saw that the headline totally misrepresented the ad. The ad really says, "'Killing Jews is worship that draws us close to Allah.' ---Hamas (aka hateful Terrorist organization) TV (emphasis mine.) That's His jihad. What's yours?"

      Henry, I have no desire whatsoever to get involved in the first amendment debate. Heck, the point of this post is not even to comment on the appropriateness or lack thereof of the ad, (for the record I am not so comfortable with it). For those who missed the meaning of the ad, the ad is quoting (disparagingly) a terrorist organization bent on killing Jews. Yet, the headline I read from the Washington Post made no mention of that whatsoever. So one who merely reads that headline, might very well come to similar conclusions that I did; that rather than mocking Hamas, the ad is calling for the murder of thousands of my Jewish brethren.
       The point of the blogg post, oh Henry, is to point out, as the Torah does in many places, that we have to be very careful before passing judgement.  The Talmudic tractate known as "Ethics of our Fathers" teaches the following pieces of brilliance: 1) "Be slow in judgment." 2) Judge everyone favorably. 3) Do not judge your fellow until you are in his shoes." The overwhelming theme here, oh Henry, is that before passing a definitive judgment on anything in life, we need to do the necessary research. How many times do we negatively judge a person, only to flip-flop our opinions of them once we find out what agonizing circumstances that person is grappling with in his or her life? How do we feel then? Something I have learned in life is that EVERYONE has got STUFF that they deal with in their lives. How would we do under such circumstances? Can we really assume we would act any different? What right do we have to judge them? Do we want people to judge us? How can we expect others, or for that matter, G-d himself, to give us the benefit of the doubt, when we are so quick to form negative opinions of everyone else?
      We live in a world dominated by twitter and two-second sound bytes. Our attention span is only good for about 140 characters, or about 4.5 seconds. But we owe it to ourselves to improve in this area; before forming opinions about anything we read or see on social media, we need to make sure to do our due research, just as we must be very hesitant to pass quick judgment on our peers. Instead of living life at the super high speed most of us live in this smartphone, instant gratification society, we need to slow down, become more thoughtful and try to keep everything in perspective, both in how we engage the media, and in how we relate to each other.

Forever yours,
Danny Wolfe

      

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