Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Reflections from an Anti-Israel Protest
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Dear Henry,
Today I had the opportunity to observe an anti-Israel protest on campus. Here are some observations: Taking the sage advice I wrote to you last week, (http://rabbidannywolfe.blogspot.com/2015/04/killing-jews-is-protected-in-first.html) when I heard a raucous and saw a Palestinian flag, rather then rush to judgement, I decided to go over and take a little looksie for myself. Henry, I got to tell you, what I saw, kind of surprised me. The Palestinian activists were holding one sign, and one sign only. It said, "Black Lives Matter." I thought to myself, "Wow Dan-o, that's a good point. Maybe I should go join them. I do after all, agree one hundred percent that Black lives do in fact matter." Just as I was approaching the group, ready to join them with the Black lives matter theme, I stopped in my tracks as they started shouting like Seattle Seahawks fans after the legendary interception. I heard, "Hey, Hey! Ho Ho! The Zionists must go!" While I gave them some props in my head for the catchy rhythm, I asked myself the following question: Where exactly, pray tell, should they go? Perhaps north to Syria or Lebanon? Maybe Jordan or Egypt? Perhaps further north to Iraq or Iran? Or maybe West to the Mediterranean Sea?
The second chant was a heck of a lot more agreeable: "Black Lives Matter! Black Lives Matter." "Touche," thought I, and I joined in the chanting.
The third chant, to be honest with you-- and I will be honest with you-- didn't make any sense to me. They said, "from Furgeson to Palestine, the occupation is a crime!" Firstly, the "occupation" is not a crime. Secondly, as I so wisely tweeted, comparing Furgeson to Palestine is like saying saying the earthquake in Nepal has something to do with the NFL draft. I fail to see any correlation whatsoever. In fact, I am offended in behalf of Black people. You see, dear Henry, one of the serious frustrations of the Palestinians as that they are subject to checkpoints, and have massive walls around their cities. This understandably might make them flustered, heck; it might make them downright upset, and might make them feel like the victims. However, the reason there are checkpoints, and the reason there are walls, is because when there were not walls, Palestinian terrorists would walk into cafes, and buses, and blow themselves up, murdering hundreds of innocent civilians in the process. When the walls went up, this stopped. Its unfortunate there has to be walls and checkpoints, but history speaks for itself. Where, oh Henry, is there any correlation whatsoever with being Black? Are we implying that Blacks are oppressed because they are like the Palestinians? Is that not insulting to Blacks everywhere? What am I missing here?
Finally, before I had to leave, a guy got up, and gave what I thought was a fine speech. He concluded with the powerful message that it would be a good idea to put healthier food chains in the the inner city, and that people would therefore eat healthier. Seemed like a fine idea. I clapped. As I walked away from it all, utterly confused at what I just saw, I did realize that there is a heck of a lot we can agree on (in this case that Black lives matter and that eating healthy is awesome), and it would be great if we could focus on that.
Forever yours,
Danny Wolfe
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Friday, April 24, 2015
Killing Jews is Protected in the First Amendment?!?!
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Dear Henry,
A few days ago, as I was doing my bi-minutely perusal of the social media, I noticed a headline to an article that caught my attention: "'Killing Jews is Worship' posters will soon appear on NYC subways and buses.'" Now growing up in the mountains, I have seen my fair share of bigotry. In a high school basketball game, a guy made the mistake of attempting to shoot over me. I proceeded to stuff him like a Thanksgiving turkey, and then he called me a dirty Jew. One time after a guy got called for a foul on our home court, he said, "man these refs are so Jewish! (They were not) I looked up at him and boldly said, "that's not very nice!" But Henry, I have never, ever, experienced someone explicitly calling for the killing of the Jews. Not in this country at least. It's one thing when a nutty fanatical regime in Iran that for some reason the United States wants to imbue with nuclear power calls for our elimination and destruction; but for that message to appear on a city bus and subway cart in the most populated city in our country?!? I mean, the First Amendment is great and all, but it should protect a call to kill and eradicate an entire religion? So I did what any good Jew would do, and I immediately picked up the phone to call the ACLU. But as I realized I didn't even know their phone number, I told myself, "slowdown cowboy, before making that call, I am going to go ahead and ask you to first read the article to understand the context. "Great idea Dan-o," I responded to mysef. Let's give this article a good old fashion looksie."
Henry, I will be 100% honest with you because I owe it to you, and my thousands of readers to keep it real: I was shocked at what I read. I was fully expecting to see some fundamentalist Islamic group behind the ad, and I was ready to be furious and to then call my senators to ask how this is allowed to fly. But as I scrolled down the article, I saw that the headline totally misrepresented the ad. The ad really says, "'Killing Jews is worship that draws us close to Allah.' ---Hamas (aka hateful Terrorist organization) TV (emphasis mine.) That's His jihad. What's yours?"
Henry, I have no desire whatsoever to get involved in the first amendment debate. Heck, the point of this post is not even to comment on the appropriateness or lack thereof of the ad, (for the record I am not so comfortable with it). For those who missed the meaning of the ad, the ad is quoting (disparagingly) a terrorist organization bent on killing Jews. Yet, the headline I read from the Washington Post made no mention of that whatsoever. So one who merely reads that headline, might very well come to similar conclusions that I did; that rather than mocking Hamas, the ad is calling for the murder of thousands of my Jewish brethren.
The point of the blogg post, oh Henry, is to point out, as the Torah does in many places, that we have to be very careful before passing judgement. The Talmudic tractate known as "Ethics of our Fathers" teaches the following pieces of brilliance: 1) "Be slow in judgment." 2) Judge everyone favorably. 3) Do not judge your fellow until you are in his shoes." The overwhelming theme here, oh Henry, is that before passing a definitive judgment on anything in life, we need to do the necessary research. How many times do we negatively judge a person, only to flip-flop our opinions of them once we find out what agonizing circumstances that person is grappling with in his or her life? How do we feel then? Something I have learned in life is that EVERYONE has got STUFF that they deal with in their lives. How would we do under such circumstances? Can we really assume we would act any different? What right do we have to judge them? Do we want people to judge us? How can we expect others, or for that matter, G-d himself, to give us the benefit of the doubt, when we are so quick to form negative opinions of everyone else?
We live in a world dominated by twitter and two-second sound bytes. Our attention span is only good for about 140 characters, or about 4.5 seconds. But we owe it to ourselves to improve in this area; before forming opinions about anything we read or see on social media, we need to make sure to do our due research, just as we must be very hesitant to pass quick judgment on our peers. Instead of living life at the super high speed most of us live in this smartphone, instant gratification society, we need to slow down, become more thoughtful and try to keep everything in perspective, both in how we engage the media, and in how we relate to each other.
Forever yours,
Danny Wolfe
The point of the blogg post, oh Henry, is to point out, as the Torah does in many places, that we have to be very careful before passing judgement. The Talmudic tractate known as "Ethics of our Fathers" teaches the following pieces of brilliance: 1) "Be slow in judgment." 2) Judge everyone favorably. 3) Do not judge your fellow until you are in his shoes." The overwhelming theme here, oh Henry, is that before passing a definitive judgment on anything in life, we need to do the necessary research. How many times do we negatively judge a person, only to flip-flop our opinions of them once we find out what agonizing circumstances that person is grappling with in his or her life? How do we feel then? Something I have learned in life is that EVERYONE has got STUFF that they deal with in their lives. How would we do under such circumstances? Can we really assume we would act any different? What right do we have to judge them? Do we want people to judge us? How can we expect others, or for that matter, G-d himself, to give us the benefit of the doubt, when we are so quick to form negative opinions of everyone else?
We live in a world dominated by twitter and two-second sound bytes. Our attention span is only good for about 140 characters, or about 4.5 seconds. But we owe it to ourselves to improve in this area; before forming opinions about anything we read or see on social media, we need to make sure to do our due research, just as we must be very hesitant to pass quick judgment on our peers. Instead of living life at the super high speed most of us live in this smartphone, instant gratification society, we need to slow down, become more thoughtful and try to keep everything in perspective, both in how we engage the media, and in how we relate to each other.
Forever yours,
Danny Wolfe
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Monday, April 20, 2015
Don't do Drugs- it's that Simple
Today is April 20th. To me, as soon as I hear 4/20, I think back to 1999 when I was in 7th grade, watching from a Denver dentist office the aftermath of the Columbine massacre which prematurely claimed the lives of 12 high-school students and a teacher. I vividly remember the images of dozens of kids running out of their school with their hands up over their heads. I remember mourning with them from my living room as I watched their candle light vigils from my television. I remember crying every time I listened to the beautiful song "Columbine friend of mine" by Jonathan and Steven Cohen. I remember the references to how April 20th also coincided with Hitler's birthday.
It is therefore always very painful for me when I hear of how excited everyone is each year on April 20th, because 4/20 is also the unofficial Marijuana holiday where everyone celebrates marijuana and lights up, or consumes some brownies, as the case may be. I am pained not only from the tragic memories of 1999, but also because of the fact that taking a drug called marijuana has become an unofficial national holiday. I honestly don't know if marijuana was a thing when I grew up in Denver Colorado in the 90s and early 2000s, because I spent my time hanging out at Walmart and going cow tipping in Crowley County, but one thing I do know for sure is that I never had the slightest desire to partake of it.
You see, dear Henry, as a rabbi it is very easy to tell the good folks out there what they want to hear. It is a lot more difficult to bring things up that they might not want to hear. I reckon that out of my thousands upon thousands of devoted readers across the span of the universe, a whole bunch of them smoke weed-- to all of you out there, I love you dearly and G-d forbid you should think I am passing any judgment on you whatsoever. But, like a parent would want to point out a problematic behavior to his/her child out of nothing but love, so too I am blowing the whistle on weed smoking/ consumption out of love. In short, oh Henry, it's coming from a good place.
About five years ago, I had the good fortune to live in the lovely Washington Heights Manhattan. Most days were grey and dreary, there was often dog poo littered on the ground and the smell of fresh urine emanated from the streets. Despite all of that, I will never forget observing my son Avrumie's reaction to the scenic views: from his stroller he bobbed his head from side to side, excitedly taking in all of the sights and smells. I realized that for this child, he was literally seeing the world for the first time-- and the world-- even the Heights--is a pretty spectacular place. This morning, as I recited the morning prayers on this grey and rainy Up-State day, I couldn't help but notice the greenness of the grass, in contrast to the grey, colorless sky. I couldn't help but be moved. Later that same morning, I observed my 3 month old princess basking at the sights of her play mat- (pictured below) kicking and squealing in utter delight. The complex patterns and colors literally brought her to a state of ecstasy. This past Shabbos, as I shifted my attention from child to child, relishing in how precious and special each one of them is, I felt higher than a kite.
Humanity is created, the Torah tells us, in G-d's image. Each and everyone of us is G-d-like. In Judaism, we are commanded to be Holy, and to be a "kingdom of priests, and a holy nation." We believe that we are imbued with all the tools we need to live a lofty, high, elevated life. There is no need for outside substances, which bring this to us in a fake way, which I am told promotes laziness and apathy, and a depressing downward spiral when the high wears off. There is no need for this substance, which for many brings with it, paranoia, or anxiety. Judaism teaches we can reach this euphoria not by lighting up, but by simply learning to open our eyes and perceive the abundance of light.
Forever yours,
Danny Wolfe
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Slow Down Cowboy
Dear Henry,
A funny thing happened on the way to the mountains. There I was, in the early hours of a gorgeous Rocky Mountain Wednesday morning. I was leading a group of eight incredible college students from New York on a spring break trip to Colorado, and on this particular morning on this particular day we were driving to the mountains for a two day ski trip. Everything was going as planned until about twenty minutes into our journey. As I was cruising at 65 MPH in the left lane, soaring like a speedy Zebra coasting across a Zimbabwe Safari, I suddenly noticed a sea of red break lights ahead. A few minutes later I noticed everyone was switching lanes, getting out of that left lane, because there was an accident there. "Oh great," thought I. Now I'm going to need to do a fancy maneuver they taught me in driving school fourteen years ago to be able to switch into the center lane with this massive van I am driving. I immediately signaled to switch lanes, and then something more unexpected than the series finale to The OC happened: the guy let me in. The dude let me switch lanes, and he didn't even creep up and pretend he wasn't going to let me in like they do in New York. He just stopped his vehicle and waved me in.
My mouth literally dropped. I couldn't believe it . Here was a driver driving to work in rush hour traffic; presumably he had somewhere important to be. And yet, some how, some way, he wholeheartedly let me go in front of him, with no hesitation whatsoever. I truly couldn't believe it. I woke up the unsuspecting sleeping passenger next to me to alert her what was going on.
This experience, and driving through Colorado, a state in which drivers egregiously go under the speed limit in the left lane, taught me the very important life lesson to SLOW DOWN, and I believe it is critical to do so for three reasons. Firstly, we need to slow down to constantly evaluate and confirm that we are going down the appropriate path. Many of us are programmed from kindergarten that we need to go to school to learn how to be a lawyer or doctor, or accountant, and then do this profession to make money, and then to make money to be able to retire and go on vacation. But do we necessarily know to pause, and ask ourselves a) if we are happy in the profession we are pursuing and b) what's the point of it all? Do we ever pause and try to figure out how to be in a loving relationship or how to be a good parent? In life, we need to slow down, to pause, and reflect. In Judaism we have an opportunity to do so once a week every week: we have Shabbos, a sabbath in which we put everything away to reflect on what is truly important, and to take stock of our lives.
The other reason a person should slow down is that when he goes to fast, many times he loses his rationality and ability to make wise decisions. For example, when a driver on the East Coast decides he's not letting someone in front of him in, and he wrecklessly tails the car in front of him, he is endangering himself and everyone else on the road. When a businessman in Manhattan is walking 20 MPH to get to his meeting on time, body checking the unsuspecting photo-snapping tourist in the mean time, he is not thinking so rationally. The Talmud teaches that a person should be "slow to judgement." If I am adjudicating a case I shouldn't come up with any rash verdicts; I am enjoined to methodically understand each side, and take my time before issuing a ruling. Life is complex, we need to slow down and use our brains. Today, in this high strung world, where technology allows us to find out everything we want in an instant, this wisdom is more applicable than ever. I remember one time I was sent a rather annoying email, and from my fake I-phone I was preparing an instant response. Luckily I took a deep breath, and slept on it, and in the end did not send the email that I would have surely regretted having sent.
Finally, we all need to take a deep breath, and slow down, so that we can enjoy, and bask in the beautiful world that G-d has given us. I remember one time walking to work in the streets of Manhattan, and I looked up above the storefronts to see all of these incredible skyscrapers--wondrously crafted, stunning buildings. I said to myself, Dan-o, that's crazy. You have been walking past these same buildings every single day, and yet you never once noticed that there was something beyond the restaurants and storefronts on the street level. Once I slowed down and looked up, I realized there was a whole new world beyond what I ever stopped to recognize. Last Friday night, as the rabbi was saying Kiddush, I couldn't get over the gorgeous deep blue sky in the background. I recall thinking I never recall having seen such a shade of blue before. In life, many times we are too busy and running around like chickens with our heads cut off; totally oblivious to the wondrous world in which we live. What good is the beauty if it goes unnoticed, unappreciated?
Granted, somethings in life you might want to just "speed through," to get it over with, like a routine visit to the dentist office, or the New York Jets season. But life is not one of those things. It is too short to run through with our head down as quickly as we can. Life is beautiful, so, as we say out West, "Slow down, Cowboy!"
Sincerely,
Danny Wolfe
Finally, we all need to take a deep breath, and slow down, so that we can enjoy, and bask in the beautiful world that G-d has given us. I remember one time walking to work in the streets of Manhattan, and I looked up above the storefronts to see all of these incredible skyscrapers--wondrously crafted, stunning buildings. I said to myself, Dan-o, that's crazy. You have been walking past these same buildings every single day, and yet you never once noticed that there was something beyond the restaurants and storefronts on the street level. Once I slowed down and looked up, I realized there was a whole new world beyond what I ever stopped to recognize. Last Friday night, as the rabbi was saying Kiddush, I couldn't get over the gorgeous deep blue sky in the background. I recall thinking I never recall having seen such a shade of blue before. In life, many times we are too busy and running around like chickens with our heads cut off; totally oblivious to the wondrous world in which we live. What good is the beauty if it goes unnoticed, unappreciated?
Granted, somethings in life you might want to just "speed through," to get it over with, like a routine visit to the dentist office, or the New York Jets season. But life is not one of those things. It is too short to run through with our head down as quickly as we can. Life is beautiful, so, as we say out West, "Slow down, Cowboy!"
Sincerely,
Danny Wolfe
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Close Call on I-87
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Dear Henry,
Three and a half weeks ago, my Better Half, six-week old daughter, and myself went to a beautiful wedding in New Jersey. While it was a 2.5 hour drive, we love weddings, and were excited to attend. Little did I know, as we set off for New Jersey, that this day would change our lives. What I am about to write, oh Henry, is kind of personal. I am going through with writing it, because in life, inspiration does not last. It is as fleeting as a shooting star, quickly darting across the vast sky in the Utah Canyon lands. I therefore am writing this as a reminder to myself of this inspiring, life-changing day, so that I can take some concrete steps to hold on to the inspiration.
About an hour into our lovely ride down to the weddng, a ride which I savored because I was able to have alone time with my lovely wife, and we were able to speak without any interruptions, I noticed it began snowing. No big deal, thought I, we live in upstate New York, it snows every day, I am an expert driver in the snow, and we have All Wheel Drive. As we got closer and closer to the wedding, the snow became heavier and heavier. Still, I remained unfazed. At the wedding, I checked my phone for weather updates, and realized that the snow was not really letting up; there were winter advisories for the entire New York City area until 3 AM that night. To put it simply, it was a winter wonderland out there.
After the beautiful wedding, we got some very cheap New Jersey gas, and were on the road. It started off uneventful enough. We took a dinner stop near Monsey NY, and shortly thereafter, were on the road again. About fifteen minutes after leaving Monsey, I was annoyed as the grandmotherly driver in front of me was driving about twenty miles per hour. We were on the portion of the highway which has three lanes, and I switched from the center lane to the left lane, preparing for what I thought would be a routine lane change in which I would pass her. It started off as expected, but as I attempted to change back to the center lane, something unexpected occurred. As I began switching lanes, at about 50 MPH, the car, who I call Hindy the Hyundai started to swerve, and I lost control of her. To our utter horror, we did a complete 180 degree turn, and as we came to a stop, we were dreadfully facing oncoming traffic, on this busy, three lane section of the New York Thruway. At this point, the only words we could muster were, "Hashem!! (G-d!!)," as we braced for impact. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, just waiting for the end, and witnessing car after car miraculously pass us by, my Better Half came up with an idea that might well have saved our lives. She told me to immediately turn on the emergency blinking lights, and to start honking non stop, to alert the oncoming cars. Through nothing short of the grace of the Almighty, car after car drove past us, I turned the car back around, and we were on our merry way without even a scratch on our car.
My heart was beating faster than the Colorado Rockies will tank this upcoming season, and I was truthfully, unsure that we were still among the living. I had read some crazy stories of near death experiences, and as an observant Jew I fervently believe in the eternity of the soul, and I was unsure where I was. I pinched myself, and asked my Better Half if we were still alive. She started laughing, in a pure expression of ecstasy, and explained that we were in fact still alive. As we passed a minor car accident on the side of the road, I realized how fortunate we were; as the cars were approaching I would have given anything to only suffer a minor accident; and yet here we were, totally unscathed.
From this experience, oh Henry, I came across ten important lessons that I want to share with you tonight:
1) I realized, without any shadow of a doubt, that miracles still exist today. As the holiday of Passover approaches, a holiday in which we remember the incredible miracles G-d did for us in taking us out of the bondage of Egypt, I am able to reflect on my own, personal miracle--the fact that I am able to write this blogg at this very moment. Every car that passed me and didn't hit me was a miracle. It would have only taken one person reaching over for a drink, looking away from the road, texting, or changing the radio station, and everything could have ended differently. If we would have left from our previous stop thirty seconds earlier or later, everything could have been different. We just "happened" to be on the short three lane section of the Thruway, leaving ample room for every car to swerve around me. After this experience I have no doubt that G-d still is in the business of performing miracles for His beloved children.
2) A second lesson I learned, with clarity, is that there is nothing but G-d. My first words after we turned around, were, "Ain Od Milvado." There is simply nothing but G-d. I trusted my fancy shmancy All Wheel Drive; but at the end of the day, I am only here; as are all of my thousands upon thousands of my devoted readers across the globe, as a result of G-d's will, and G-d alone. We put our trust in gadgets, and technology, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to G-d. As the dollar bill says, "In G-d we Trust."
3) A third lesson I learned was that it is important to ask ourselves, on a regular basis, "have I accomplished everything I hope to?" As the cars were rapidly approaching us, I realized that there is so much more I want to accomplish in my life. The talmud teaches, "If not now, when?" The commentators explain, if I do not accomplish now, in this physical world, when can I? After a person dies and is removed from his body, he can no longer accomplish anything-- that is the tragedy of death. As a poet once said, "If you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted, would you capture it, or let it slip, yo."
4) On a similar note, a fourth profound lesson I learned is that I need to simply stop wasting so much time. Now with the invention of the smart phone, time wasting is easier, and more addicting than ever. But do I really need to spend so much time reading ESPN articles? Does it really matter in the big scheme of things that Lebron James doesn't care that Kevin Love thinks Russell Westbrook is the NBA MVP? Is reading about that an acceptable use of my precious time? This experience showed me that we are very, very mortal. We need to be real with that. We often go through our early years thinking we are invincible; but our invincibility is simply an illusion. Like every human being before us, we will one day die. We need to think about that, and use our time accordingly.
5) Another critical lesson I learned is that I am here for a reason. I was in a situation in which G-d could have very easily decided that my time was up. Yet somehow, He miraculously spared me. This is true of all of us. If we are still here; if our hearts are still palpitating, we have a mission that we must set out to accomplish. A great rabbi named Rabbi Kook explains that before a person is born, there is no point in his being alive, because his mission and life assignment did not yet exist. Once he is born, there is a mission created that hey--and only he-- can fulfill. If G-d forbid a person is not fulfilling his mission, than what exactly is the point for him to remain in the world? We need to make sure to focus on fulfilling our life's mission.
6) I also learned that there is a spiritual reality going on that I cannot perceive with all of my senses; yet I know it is still there. Just as there are constantly sound waves traveling around that I cannot see, or touch, and yet I know they are present, so too there is a spiritual reality that exists, despite my inability to see it, or touch it. I came to realize this when I began asking the question, in what merit were we saved? We definitely have no way of knowing how G-d runs the world, but perhaps we were spared because the Better Half made a heartfelt tefillas haderech before we left-- a blessing praying for our well being as we embarked upon our journey. Or, perhaps we were saved as a result of a young rabbi's blessing to us. At the wedding I had struck up a great conversation with a rabbi at our table, and before we got up to leave, he asked for me to bless him. Caught off guard, I muttered the first thing that came to my mind. I asked him to return the favor, and he proceeded to give me one of the most beautiful blessings I ever heard in my life. In Judaism we assume words are very powerful; they can build people up, or G-d forbid, tear them down. In this case, his kind words might have saved our lives. There is a spiritual reality, and our every action has massive ramifications of which we are usually unable to perceive.
7) At the same time though, while it is important to consider what might have been the merit that saved us, it is also important to realize that it was G-d Himself who put us in this precarious situation to begin with. Why might that be? There is a concept called making a Cheshbon HaNefesh, literally an accounting of the soul. It is important to look back and break down what we do, and how we can improve. Again, without knowing how G-d works and does what He does, I did realize I had done something on this particular night that I had never done before. About fifteen minutes before we skidded on the road, I for the first time ever, trolled a journalist on twitter. In Judaism, there is no place for "trolling" or cruelty. This was a lesson I will not forget.
8) Of all the lessons I learned, what very well might have been the most crucial one, is that by the mere fact that we are alive, we necessarily have SO much to be happy about. In the initial moments after the close call, I was shaken up. The next day though, I was simply euphoric. I woke up, and gleefully kissed my children before going to synagogue. At synagogue, I said an emotional blessing one says after surviving a dangerous situation. When I got home after synagogue, my children were fretting about not having eaten enough breakfast; they were very near throwing a full blown temper tantrum. The old Danny would have been annoyed; but the new Danny was overjoyed as my son threw a fit for not being allowed to eat a pot of oatmeal two minutes before we were meant to leave for school. As I put my kids in the car, my two year old son demanded to close the door, as he always does. The problem, is that he doesn't know how to put on his seatbelt by himself, and he cannot close the door while strapped in. So he threw a fit. The old Danny would get agitated, but on this day, I exuded pure joy at being able to witness his antics. After I dropped my kids off at school, I listened intently to the gorgeous sound of the wind blowing on this sunny twenty-five degree day. Usually I would have been super annoyed that it was still so freezing despite the fact that it was now March. Today, I had tears streaming down my face, savoring the spine tingling, bone chilling wind. As I approached my house, I heard a loud garbage truck screechy breaks. I started crying again, so overjoyed to hear that magical sound. I said out loud in my car, "My name is Danny Wolfe, and I am ALIVE! At the end of the day, when my children got home, I ran to great them. So many days go by where they get home and I barely look up from the computer. But not today, today I was a new person. I would run around the house looking for ways to help my wife, pick up the toys, do diapers, etc... Of course I wanted to help out, after all I am alive! This day was nothing short of living a day of unadulterated ecstasy.
9) A ninth lesson I learned is very crucial, and it can be easily summed up by an important acronym: JLIG: Just Let It Go, or if you prefer, IJNWI: It's Just Not Worth It. So many of us are fighting with people over the most petty of things. But I got news for you; we are alive; just let it go! When the cars were approaching me, how much did the beef I had with anyone matter? What if something terrible happened to someone I had a conflict with? Then how would l I feel? JLIG. Just let it go. Life is too short to hold petty grudges. IJNWI: It's Just Not Worth It.
10) Finally, a 10th Lesson I learned is that, as Maimonides says, it is very important for a person to take care of himself. We need to make sure we are eating healthy, and exercising, so we can continue to operate in this world, and remain healthy, viable human beings. Life is short, and we need to take care of ourselves. We have a mission we must accomplish. I need to make sure I can be around to raise my children, and to love and cherish my wife. It is crucial that we take care of ourselves.
I learned, dear Henry, that being alive is not simple. Everyone reading this blogg, regardless how difficult your life is, has so much to be grateful for, not only because you're are once again being dazzled by my brilliance, but really by mere virtue of your being alive.
This Passover, as we celebrate G-d's miracles He did for us years ago, I will be celebrating my own miracles He performed for me, and my own rebirth into an appreciative dude who is simply so happy to be here. A few days ago I returned to upstate New York after a Spring Break trip to Denver, where it was seventy degrees the whole time. As I was greeted by sixteen degree freezing weather, I was tempted to complain about the contrast, and living in New York. But I stopped, and realized that if my biggest problems and annoyances are the weather, then I am the most fortunate man alive. With so much in life to be overjoyed about, I have no excuses to complain. After all, I am still alive.
Sincerely,
Danny Wolfe
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Dear Henry,
Three and a half weeks ago, my Better Half, six-week old daughter, and myself went to a beautiful wedding in New Jersey. While it was a 2.5 hour drive, we love weddings, and were excited to attend. Little did I know, as we set off for New Jersey, that this day would change our lives. What I am about to write, oh Henry, is kind of personal. I am going through with writing it, because in life, inspiration does not last. It is as fleeting as a shooting star, quickly darting across the vast sky in the Utah Canyon lands. I therefore am writing this as a reminder to myself of this inspiring, life-changing day, so that I can take some concrete steps to hold on to the inspiration.
About an hour into our lovely ride down to the weddng, a ride which I savored because I was able to have alone time with my lovely wife, and we were able to speak without any interruptions, I noticed it began snowing. No big deal, thought I, we live in upstate New York, it snows every day, I am an expert driver in the snow, and we have All Wheel Drive. As we got closer and closer to the wedding, the snow became heavier and heavier. Still, I remained unfazed. At the wedding, I checked my phone for weather updates, and realized that the snow was not really letting up; there were winter advisories for the entire New York City area until 3 AM that night. To put it simply, it was a winter wonderland out there.
After the beautiful wedding, we got some very cheap New Jersey gas, and were on the road. It started off uneventful enough. We took a dinner stop near Monsey NY, and shortly thereafter, were on the road again. About fifteen minutes after leaving Monsey, I was annoyed as the grandmotherly driver in front of me was driving about twenty miles per hour. We were on the portion of the highway which has three lanes, and I switched from the center lane to the left lane, preparing for what I thought would be a routine lane change in which I would pass her. It started off as expected, but as I attempted to change back to the center lane, something unexpected occurred. As I began switching lanes, at about 50 MPH, the car, who I call Hindy the Hyundai started to swerve, and I lost control of her. To our utter horror, we did a complete 180 degree turn, and as we came to a stop, we were dreadfully facing oncoming traffic, on this busy, three lane section of the New York Thruway. At this point, the only words we could muster were, "Hashem!! (G-d!!)," as we braced for impact. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, just waiting for the end, and witnessing car after car miraculously pass us by, my Better Half came up with an idea that might well have saved our lives. She told me to immediately turn on the emergency blinking lights, and to start honking non stop, to alert the oncoming cars. Through nothing short of the grace of the Almighty, car after car drove past us, I turned the car back around, and we were on our merry way without even a scratch on our car.
My heart was beating faster than the Colorado Rockies will tank this upcoming season, and I was truthfully, unsure that we were still among the living. I had read some crazy stories of near death experiences, and as an observant Jew I fervently believe in the eternity of the soul, and I was unsure where I was. I pinched myself, and asked my Better Half if we were still alive. She started laughing, in a pure expression of ecstasy, and explained that we were in fact still alive. As we passed a minor car accident on the side of the road, I realized how fortunate we were; as the cars were approaching I would have given anything to only suffer a minor accident; and yet here we were, totally unscathed.
From this experience, oh Henry, I came across ten important lessons that I want to share with you tonight:
1) I realized, without any shadow of a doubt, that miracles still exist today. As the holiday of Passover approaches, a holiday in which we remember the incredible miracles G-d did for us in taking us out of the bondage of Egypt, I am able to reflect on my own, personal miracle--the fact that I am able to write this blogg at this very moment. Every car that passed me and didn't hit me was a miracle. It would have only taken one person reaching over for a drink, looking away from the road, texting, or changing the radio station, and everything could have ended differently. If we would have left from our previous stop thirty seconds earlier or later, everything could have been different. We just "happened" to be on the short three lane section of the Thruway, leaving ample room for every car to swerve around me. After this experience I have no doubt that G-d still is in the business of performing miracles for His beloved children.
2) A second lesson I learned, with clarity, is that there is nothing but G-d. My first words after we turned around, were, "Ain Od Milvado." There is simply nothing but G-d. I trusted my fancy shmancy All Wheel Drive; but at the end of the day, I am only here; as are all of my thousands upon thousands of my devoted readers across the globe, as a result of G-d's will, and G-d alone. We put our trust in gadgets, and technology, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to G-d. As the dollar bill says, "In G-d we Trust."
3) A third lesson I learned was that it is important to ask ourselves, on a regular basis, "have I accomplished everything I hope to?" As the cars were rapidly approaching us, I realized that there is so much more I want to accomplish in my life. The talmud teaches, "If not now, when?" The commentators explain, if I do not accomplish now, in this physical world, when can I? After a person dies and is removed from his body, he can no longer accomplish anything-- that is the tragedy of death. As a poet once said, "If you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted, would you capture it, or let it slip, yo."
4) On a similar note, a fourth profound lesson I learned is that I need to simply stop wasting so much time. Now with the invention of the smart phone, time wasting is easier, and more addicting than ever. But do I really need to spend so much time reading ESPN articles? Does it really matter in the big scheme of things that Lebron James doesn't care that Kevin Love thinks Russell Westbrook is the NBA MVP? Is reading about that an acceptable use of my precious time? This experience showed me that we are very, very mortal. We need to be real with that. We often go through our early years thinking we are invincible; but our invincibility is simply an illusion. Like every human being before us, we will one day die. We need to think about that, and use our time accordingly.
5) Another critical lesson I learned is that I am here for a reason. I was in a situation in which G-d could have very easily decided that my time was up. Yet somehow, He miraculously spared me. This is true of all of us. If we are still here; if our hearts are still palpitating, we have a mission that we must set out to accomplish. A great rabbi named Rabbi Kook explains that before a person is born, there is no point in his being alive, because his mission and life assignment did not yet exist. Once he is born, there is a mission created that hey--and only he-- can fulfill. If G-d forbid a person is not fulfilling his mission, than what exactly is the point for him to remain in the world? We need to make sure to focus on fulfilling our life's mission.
6) I also learned that there is a spiritual reality going on that I cannot perceive with all of my senses; yet I know it is still there. Just as there are constantly sound waves traveling around that I cannot see, or touch, and yet I know they are present, so too there is a spiritual reality that exists, despite my inability to see it, or touch it. I came to realize this when I began asking the question, in what merit were we saved? We definitely have no way of knowing how G-d runs the world, but perhaps we were spared because the Better Half made a heartfelt tefillas haderech before we left-- a blessing praying for our well being as we embarked upon our journey. Or, perhaps we were saved as a result of a young rabbi's blessing to us. At the wedding I had struck up a great conversation with a rabbi at our table, and before we got up to leave, he asked for me to bless him. Caught off guard, I muttered the first thing that came to my mind. I asked him to return the favor, and he proceeded to give me one of the most beautiful blessings I ever heard in my life. In Judaism we assume words are very powerful; they can build people up, or G-d forbid, tear them down. In this case, his kind words might have saved our lives. There is a spiritual reality, and our every action has massive ramifications of which we are usually unable to perceive.
7) At the same time though, while it is important to consider what might have been the merit that saved us, it is also important to realize that it was G-d Himself who put us in this precarious situation to begin with. Why might that be? There is a concept called making a Cheshbon HaNefesh, literally an accounting of the soul. It is important to look back and break down what we do, and how we can improve. Again, without knowing how G-d works and does what He does, I did realize I had done something on this particular night that I had never done before. About fifteen minutes before we skidded on the road, I for the first time ever, trolled a journalist on twitter. In Judaism, there is no place for "trolling" or cruelty. This was a lesson I will not forget.
8) Of all the lessons I learned, what very well might have been the most crucial one, is that by the mere fact that we are alive, we necessarily have SO much to be happy about. In the initial moments after the close call, I was shaken up. The next day though, I was simply euphoric. I woke up, and gleefully kissed my children before going to synagogue. At synagogue, I said an emotional blessing one says after surviving a dangerous situation. When I got home after synagogue, my children were fretting about not having eaten enough breakfast; they were very near throwing a full blown temper tantrum. The old Danny would have been annoyed; but the new Danny was overjoyed as my son threw a fit for not being allowed to eat a pot of oatmeal two minutes before we were meant to leave for school. As I put my kids in the car, my two year old son demanded to close the door, as he always does. The problem, is that he doesn't know how to put on his seatbelt by himself, and he cannot close the door while strapped in. So he threw a fit. The old Danny would get agitated, but on this day, I exuded pure joy at being able to witness his antics. After I dropped my kids off at school, I listened intently to the gorgeous sound of the wind blowing on this sunny twenty-five degree day. Usually I would have been super annoyed that it was still so freezing despite the fact that it was now March. Today, I had tears streaming down my face, savoring the spine tingling, bone chilling wind. As I approached my house, I heard a loud garbage truck screechy breaks. I started crying again, so overjoyed to hear that magical sound. I said out loud in my car, "My name is Danny Wolfe, and I am ALIVE! At the end of the day, when my children got home, I ran to great them. So many days go by where they get home and I barely look up from the computer. But not today, today I was a new person. I would run around the house looking for ways to help my wife, pick up the toys, do diapers, etc... Of course I wanted to help out, after all I am alive! This day was nothing short of living a day of unadulterated ecstasy.
9) A ninth lesson I learned is very crucial, and it can be easily summed up by an important acronym: JLIG: Just Let It Go, or if you prefer, IJNWI: It's Just Not Worth It. So many of us are fighting with people over the most petty of things. But I got news for you; we are alive; just let it go! When the cars were approaching me, how much did the beef I had with anyone matter? What if something terrible happened to someone I had a conflict with? Then how would l I feel? JLIG. Just let it go. Life is too short to hold petty grudges. IJNWI: It's Just Not Worth It.
10) Finally, a 10th Lesson I learned is that, as Maimonides says, it is very important for a person to take care of himself. We need to make sure we are eating healthy, and exercising, so we can continue to operate in this world, and remain healthy, viable human beings. Life is short, and we need to take care of ourselves. We have a mission we must accomplish. I need to make sure I can be around to raise my children, and to love and cherish my wife. It is crucial that we take care of ourselves.
I learned, dear Henry, that being alive is not simple. Everyone reading this blogg, regardless how difficult your life is, has so much to be grateful for, not only because you're are once again being dazzled by my brilliance, but really by mere virtue of your being alive.
This Passover, as we celebrate G-d's miracles He did for us years ago, I will be celebrating my own miracles He performed for me, and my own rebirth into an appreciative dude who is simply so happy to be here. A few days ago I returned to upstate New York after a Spring Break trip to Denver, where it was seventy degrees the whole time. As I was greeted by sixteen degree freezing weather, I was tempted to complain about the contrast, and living in New York. But I stopped, and realized that if my biggest problems and annoyances are the weather, then I am the most fortunate man alive. With so much in life to be overjoyed about, I have no excuses to complain. After all, I am still alive.
Sincerely,
Danny Wolfe
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Thursday, February 19, 2015
Open Apology to Anyone Who Has Ever Texted Me
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Dear Henry, and for that matter, anyone who is ever sent me a text message,
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Dear Henry, and for that matter, anyone who is ever sent me a text message,
I have to apologize for being so very bad at responding to your texts in a timely fashion. You see, dear Henry, and thousands of readers out there, the other day I had to send out dozens of text messages to recruit for a program we were running. Doing this chore with the fancy shmancy IPhone 6 was no easy task, but there was a cool feature. Apparently, on the iPhone, when you type in a number that you texted before, it automatically pulls up the whole texting conversation, from the last time you sent a message. I quickly realized there were many people to whom I owed a response; some people
last texted me several weeks ago, and I realized that over the last few weeks they were probably anxiously checking their phones just waiting for that long awaited text from me. I figured they were waiting with as much anticipation for my text as I am anticipating consuming my Better half's legendary shabbos desserts. I thought to myself, "Danny, your a pretty swell guy. Your a responsible dude. What's going on big guy? Why so many unanswered texts? Don't you know that is more rude than a very rude person? Do you not care about the other person's feelings? Do you think you are so special and such a big shot you simply don't have time for them? That's messed up dude."
Then I thought about it for a few minutes and I said, "Hey Dan-o, don't be too hard on yourself. Let's think for a minute why you don't respond to these text messages right away. The reason appears to be that every day, you do what you love doing: sitting down, meeting with good folks. During your meetings, sometimes, you get texts. But, you think it is rude to respond to the text whilst speaking to other human beings, so you go ahead and wait to respond to the text message, so that you can give the person to whom your currently
speaking the full attention they deserve. That's a good thing dude, don't be too hard on yourself. Sure, you should block out fifteen minutes every night to respond to the days' texts so you don't get too far behind, but by responding to the person texting you right now, you are basically saying to the person with whom you are speaking, " sorry partner, but you simply are not so important. The mysterious person behind the buzz in my pocket is more worth my time than you are. Sorry for being so blunt."
So, to all the thousands upon thousands of you reading this blogg who regularly wait in anticipation for my text messages, please forgive me, I sincerely will try to get better about this. But not at the expense of the person speaking to me at the same time you decide to text me.
Forever yours,
Danny Wolfe
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Have you ever Looked at a Snowflake?
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Dear Hank,
This morning as I was walking home from synagogue on a lengthy two mile trek, I decided I would utilize this time for some good old fashion Danny Time. A great rabbi mentor of mine often spoke about how we live in a world where we are scared to be left to ourselves, constantly flanked with our Beats by Dre or Monster DNA headphones as the case may be, scared of silence, preferring to go to clubs where they blast "house music"which to my untrained ears simply sounds like a drunk dude banging on some dirty pots and pans. As I was walking up the street, I literally stopped in my tracks, much like a little deer cub named Bambi would stop in her tracks at the sight of a red Ford pickup truck speeding quickly towards her on an empty highway somewhere in Montana, as one single, elegant snow flake danced down from heaven, and landed on my trendy Macy's jacket I purchased five years ago in a mall in SoCon (Southern Connecticut). I looked, and literally stopped walking, despite it being freezing, and awkwardly admired the single snow flake that fell on my black coat. It looked like a hexagon from 11th grade geometry class on Barry Bonds' steroids, decorated to perfection with little flowers and branches on each prong of the hexagon. My mouth literally dropped open in sheer admiration at this single snowflake, basking in G-d's brilliance. At first I thought this snow flake was possibly an aberration or some sort of fluke, or thread stitched into my jacket, but as the snow kept magically descending, I literally stopped to admire it in the middle of the street another five times, and each time, the snow flakes were as perfectly symmetrical as the time before. I was immediately reminded of the Rambam's (Maimonides) timeless words when he wrote, "How does one come to love and be in awe of G-d? By contemplating His wondrous actions and creations, and discerns in them His brilliance which has no end, immediately he will love and praise...and desire tremendously to know His Great Name." By contemplating G-ds creations in nature, in the form of this pristine, perfect snow flake, I felt like I had attained a closeness to Him that rivals the feeling of closeness and connection I felt to G-d on Yom Kippur, or while I was praying at the holy Western Wall.
This transformative and powerful experience reminded me of a very powerful lesson. The truth is, being from the great Rocky Mountain State, and then moving to the East Coast, I have seen my fair share of snow. I probably have experienced hundreds of snowy days in my years. And yet, I don't think I ever once stopped to acknowledge its beauty and how wondrous of a creation that G-d had made. Usually I complain about how it complicates our lives, messes up the roads or makes my socks wet and smelly; but I never had noticed its sheer purity, beauty, and immense detail. Once I did notice it though, it totally transformed my perspective, my mood and my overall well being. And I ask myself, how many other things are there in the world that I simply have never bothered to notice? How many other wondrous creations did the Almighty gift wrap for me to enjoy that I simply ignored? It is incumbent upon us all to look in the mirror honstly and ask one simple question: Have we ever looked at a snowflake?
Forever yours,
Danny Wolfe
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Dear Hank,
This morning as I was walking home from synagogue on a lengthy two mile trek, I decided I would utilize this time for some good old fashion Danny Time. A great rabbi mentor of mine often spoke about how we live in a world where we are scared to be left to ourselves, constantly flanked with our Beats by Dre or Monster DNA headphones as the case may be, scared of silence, preferring to go to clubs where they blast "house music"which to my untrained ears simply sounds like a drunk dude banging on some dirty pots and pans. As I was walking up the street, I literally stopped in my tracks, much like a little deer cub named Bambi would stop in her tracks at the sight of a red Ford pickup truck speeding quickly towards her on an empty highway somewhere in Montana, as one single, elegant snow flake danced down from heaven, and landed on my trendy Macy's jacket I purchased five years ago in a mall in SoCon (Southern Connecticut). I looked, and literally stopped walking, despite it being freezing, and awkwardly admired the single snow flake that fell on my black coat. It looked like a hexagon from 11th grade geometry class on Barry Bonds' steroids, decorated to perfection with little flowers and branches on each prong of the hexagon. My mouth literally dropped open in sheer admiration at this single snowflake, basking in G-d's brilliance. At first I thought this snow flake was possibly an aberration or some sort of fluke, or thread stitched into my jacket, but as the snow kept magically descending, I literally stopped to admire it in the middle of the street another five times, and each time, the snow flakes were as perfectly symmetrical as the time before. I was immediately reminded of the Rambam's (Maimonides) timeless words when he wrote, "How does one come to love and be in awe of G-d? By contemplating His wondrous actions and creations, and discerns in them His brilliance which has no end, immediately he will love and praise...and desire tremendously to know His Great Name." By contemplating G-ds creations in nature, in the form of this pristine, perfect snow flake, I felt like I had attained a closeness to Him that rivals the feeling of closeness and connection I felt to G-d on Yom Kippur, or while I was praying at the holy Western Wall.
This transformative and powerful experience reminded me of a very powerful lesson. The truth is, being from the great Rocky Mountain State, and then moving to the East Coast, I have seen my fair share of snow. I probably have experienced hundreds of snowy days in my years. And yet, I don't think I ever once stopped to acknowledge its beauty and how wondrous of a creation that G-d had made. Usually I complain about how it complicates our lives, messes up the roads or makes my socks wet and smelly; but I never had noticed its sheer purity, beauty, and immense detail. Once I did notice it though, it totally transformed my perspective, my mood and my overall well being. And I ask myself, how many other things are there in the world that I simply have never bothered to notice? How many other wondrous creations did the Almighty gift wrap for me to enjoy that I simply ignored? It is incumbent upon us all to look in the mirror honstly and ask one simple question: Have we ever looked at a snowflake?
Forever yours,
Danny Wolfe
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