Superbowl or Baby?

Dear Henry,

      Usually I try to space out my posts at least a week, to keep my thousands upon thousands of dedicated fans readily awaiting my next post in suspense. I know my readers are constantly checking their twitter feeds, eagerly anticipating my next post, just as my 6th grade Nepalese Pen Pal awaited my letters in Matchu Piccu. However something happened this morning that absolutely blew my mind. The day began innocently enough. I drove my kiddies to school, and then pulled up to my bank to make a transaction. And as I pulled up, I noticed that on the ESPN Radio, Mike and Mike were talking about an interesting scenario regarding the Superbowl. You see, dear Henry, the Seahawks best player is a guy named Richard Sherman. Richard Sherman and his girlfriend happen to be expecting a child, that is due right around the same time as the Superbowl. What that means, dear Henry, is that Richard might have a little dilemma on his hands: Should he play in the Superbowl, or be present at his child's birth? Mike and Mike were discussing this very dilemma with former Denver Bronco Mark Schlereth. As I pulled up to the window, about ready to enter my pin number, my mouth literally dropped at what I heard:

Mike Greenberg: Would you have played?
Mark Schlereth:  I'da played. 
Mike Golic: What would have Lisa said? 
Mark Schlereth: Uh, Lisa? I was there for the other ones... I would play thats what I get paid to do. This is my job and this is biggest game of my life. I got 53 other guys who depend on me, and my wife understands that.... For me its a non decision I would certianly play, I'll spend the rest of my life with the kids. Heres the deal Mike, I know its hard decision..I don't know if its the right decision...

Mike Golic: "Well there is no right or wrong...I do think a high percentage of players would play..." I do believe I would have played, and would play in the Superbowl also, I'm 99.9 percent sure I would play. Herm (Edwards) said he would play, Justin Tuck said he would have played...Tim Brown would have played.... 

      After hearing this, I immediately did the mandatory ear wax check-- maybe I've suffered from a serious ear wax build up over the years and I did not hear correctly. But I soon realized that in fact my ears were cleaner than a new born infant after bath time. Henry, I got to tell you, I was stunned at what I heard. It is only two weeks after my wife gave birth to our little Princess, and I cannot fathom missing the birth. I am a rabbi, and I had the opportunity to visit Poland with 15 students that I adore, on a life changing trip, which was set two weeks before our due date. And yet, the idea never entered my mind, because of the remote possibility that my wife would go into labor early, and I would be several thousand miles away. Mark Schlereth said that he would play, because that is his job, that's what he's paid to do. I am grateful that my employers know that as much as I love and cherish my job, if ever there is a conflict between my job and my family, my family wins out all day, every day. 

      He then said that he would have to play, because, after all 53 of his teammates depend on him. I hear that, as I myself am an enormously accomplished athlete. But Mark, WHAT ABOUT YOUR WIFE? YOU KNOW, THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?? You know, the lady you will grow old with, and build a family with?  Is it not more important for you to be there for HER?!?! And Mark, its great you'll spend the rest of your life with your kids, but what message are you conveying to them? You're all real important, but not as important as a game in which a bunch of big guys run around and tackle each other? REALLY???

      I was also dismayed over Mike Golic's authoritative claim that, "there is no right or wrong." Mike, I love you man, but I vehemently disagree with you. There is a right or wrong, and the right thing is to miss the game and be there for your partner in the most momentous moment in both of your lives. 

      After last year's 43-8 Great Debacle, (for more check out http://rabbidannywolfe.blogspot.com/2014/02/reflections-on-broncos-super-debacle-48.html)

I disdain the Seattle Seahawks with a passion, and I would love nothing more than for the New England Patriots to decimate them and quiet down their players and fans once and for all. However, if in fact Richard Sherman misses the Superbowl to be present for his baby's birth, I will become a Seahawks fan, and buy a Richard Sherman jersey for myself and my children. Because like the great Sandy Koufax before him, who missed a World Series game that was played on Yom Kippur, Richard Sherman would yet again be making a very bold, mind blowing declaration: At the end of the day, it is just a game.

Sincerely,

Danny Wolfe

The Joy of Having a Child on Shabbos

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Dear Henry,
      As a Sabbath observant Jew, I had very mixed emotions about the prospect of my Better Half going into labor on Shabbos. While usually on Shabbos I do not drive, use electricity, my phone, computer, or any other technologies, when a woman is in labor, she, and her husband are required to violate the Sabbath for her safety, as she is viewed as an individual whose life is endangered. Nevertheless, it felt very unnatural as I picked up the phone to call the taxi, and as the taxi driver turned on gangsta rap, a genre of music I usually like, to calm his nerves as he drove us to the hospital.
      However, there was one unmistakeable, unforgettable upside of my wife giving birth on Shabbos, and that is that after my precious daughter was born, and the danger had subsided, I could no longer use my phone, or violate the Shabbos in any other way. What that means, is that in the first magical moments of my Princess's life, there were absolutely NO distractions whatsoever. My wife and I arrived at the hospital as two people. Suddenly, in the middle of Shabbos, we became three; a phenomenon I pray each and every one of my thousands of readers experiences in their lives. And the three of us had a beautiful Shabbos lunch together. We each took a lovely Shabbos nap. And I was able to hold my daughter, and bask at G-d's kindness and His creation. Unlike in previous years, when I would immediately snap pictures and call loved ones, this time, my Princess had 100% of my focus, and I simply held her in my arms, unknowingly giggling with blissful delight. I was not in a rush to get home to relieve our incredible babysitter who was watching my other three angelic children at home, because I could not get in a car for six hours. My only concern was living in this holy moment of time, experiencing my love for my wife and daughter, savoring every second of it, and cherishing the holy Sabbath.
     This experience taught me that this is what Shabbos should always be. Many of us (especially me) live our lives enslaved to our technology. Instead of cherishing a sunset, we have our phones out, snapping #sunsetSelfies so all of our "friends" on Instagram and Facebook can 'like' it.  Instead of contemplating G-d's wonders as we gaze at the Grand Canyon we are too busy making sure we take enough pictures from enough different angles. Thank G-d we have Shabbos, which requires us to put our technology away, and to live our lives, to engage this sanctified moment of time. It enables us to truly experience our families-- to be present with those we love. Shabbos is a time where we put everything away and we delight in G-d's incredible world. This past Shabbos, I further realized just how miraculous His world is.

Sincerely,
Danny Wolfe

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An Open Thank You Letter to the Dude who Taught me about Relationships

Dear Dude who lives on Manning Street who who I see outside every morning at 7:15 AM,

      You do not know who I am, and I don't know you; but you inspire me greatly. You don't know me, and likely have never seen me, but I feel like I have known you for years. I, like many other passengers in automotive vehicles frequent the street in which you live. Your street helps me get from one point to the next. And by passing your house every morning, I have observed you do one thing for which you have become a profound role model: You spend time time with your daughter. In the freezing winter, this meant simply waiting with her in the bitter cold, as she awaited her school bus. In the spring it has meant playing catch with a baseball in front of your house, awaiting the bus. But you don't just spend time with her, playing catch when you know it will only be for a short time before her bus comes. Because I have also seen you outside on the weekend with her, with no place to go, tossing a ball back and forth with lacrosse sticks.

      At first I was unsure why exactly watching you had been so inspiring to me. And then I recalled my own youth, where my parents did the exact same thing: My pops played catch with me, coached my baseball teams, and hit my groundballs. And my momma was cheering me on in the bleachers. And perhaps without even consciously realizing it at the time, the love that they were showing me seeped into my bones, enabling me to feel secure, confident, happy, and beloved. 

     One of the three things the Torah contractually requires a man to provide for his wife is "onah." There are different understandings as to what exactly this word means, but I have heard quoted in the name if a tremendously brilliant and righteous rabbi, that in its most simple form, "onah" means time. In modern hebrew, "onah" means "season." Thus, according to this most literal understanding of the verse describing a man's legal obligations to his wife is that he must give her time. Perhaps this means that they have dinner together. And during dinner, the TV is off, the cell phone is charging in the other room, and the newspapers (if the couple is archaic and still gets newspapers) are put away. It is just one-on-one time-- an opportunity for the couple to connect and to convey the feeling of how they thoroughly enjoy being in the presence of their beloved. 

      This idea is a secret for success in any relationship today in which we find ourselves: with a friend, a spouse, or a child. We need to give one another time. Sometimes it is hard, in a world with so many distractions: we could be checking our email on our iphones, or speaking to Siri, or avoid spending time  with someone by emailing or texting them. Yet it is obvious that the most cherished, scarce, fleeting gift we have is time. What possible better way to show you love someone, than by investing your precious time in them. 

     For this profound lesson, Dude who Lives on Manning, I thank you.

Sincerely,

Danny Wolfe

Stay at Home Dad

4-24-2013

Dear Henry,

       Long time no speak. Its definitely been way too long. I actually wanted to share with you a little bit about my week! My week was more interesting than my drunken tweets. But Henry, my week was not only interesting-- for it was also informative. Heck, it was more informative than a mall directory, which informs me where Lidz is, so that I could go ahead and purchase a new lid. I am so frustrated that I looked in the whole store, and I didn't even find one lid-- I only found ball caps! Go figure! As Christopher, AKA Chris Rock once famously said, "That Aint a Right!" But I digress. Anyways, I think I will now go ahead and share with you what I did this week, from the very beginning...

      At my own strong urging, my wife agreed to go to a Rebbetzin's aka. (Rabbis wife) three-day conference. When I had encouraged her to go, I was very excited for all the inspiration she would take. I figured she would even be half as inspired as a person who has the privilege to hear Yours Truly dazzling an audience with a life-changing lecture. Interestingly enough though, it did not occur to me that if she would be away for three days, then it would necessarily mean that it would be I who would change every single diaper. It never once dawned on me, that with her away for three days, it would be me who would be cleaning up the house. It never occurred to me that it would be I, who cooked dinners, packed lunches, washed dishes, and worked out carpools and took out carseats.

     I began to get an inkling of what I was in for when we-- Yours truly, The Eldest, and The Princess pulled into the garage after dropping off Momma and the baby at the rental car place. The Eldest gave a mighty, thunderous sneeze, and then clutched his ear in agony. He started crying, telling me how much his ear was hurting. I figured this would be a little stage that he was going through for like 3 minutes, and by the time we got upstairs, he would be out of the kvetching-about-my-hurting-ear- stage. To my horror and dismay, when we got upstairs, he did not start playing with his cars, or color, or even draw, or do finger paints,  but he lay down on the couch, all the while grasping his ear in agony. I didn't find all that amusing that he had never had such an ear ache before, and the first  time he had such a thing, my wife was almost in New Baltimore (20  LONG miles away). 

      I quickly called the doctor, who said they weren't open on Sundays, but maybe I should go to an urgent care center, or just wait till tomorrow. I then looked in every cabinet and drawer I could find, hoping against all hope I could find that silly kiddies tylenol bottle-- and then I remembered that I am a male, who cannot even find where the forks go. I grabbed The Eldest in one hand, The Princess in the other hand, and before one could say "Bunny Bunny", we were back in the car. I sped out of the drive way to CVS, and grabbed not one, but the first two bottles I could find. As soon as  I paid, and put the kids back in the car, I gave the little man some tylenol to sooth the pain. With the help of the Al-mighty, his ears were as good as new by the time we got to the grocery store 13 minutes later. Phew!

     Everything was going great from that point on-- I went to the gym to become Brolic and Dikembe Mujumbo, and when I got home, for dinner, I even made the kids eggs and quinoia, (Im good-- I know) and as I put them to sleep, I reflected how cool it was that tonight, I would get a solid night sleep, as my 6 month old baby was with the Mrs. at the conference 150 miles away. 

      Everything was going great-- until about 3 AM. My slumber was suddenly, rudely, and abruptly interrupted by obnoxiously obnoxious chirping sounds, which sounded once every 47 seconds from my Carbon Monoxide alarm.  I got up, googled how to stop it, and it seemed like maybe the battery was low. I switched out the battery, and the darn thing kept chirping. I googled it again, and saw a suggestion to call the fire department to come take a CO reading-- and that is exactly what I did. So at 3:20 AM I had 5 firemen in my house, with their tools, checking things out. Again, with the help of the Lord Above, there was no CO whatsoever-- as it was either battery problem or the alarm was defective. So I tried again to fix the battery, but to my dismay-- the darn thing kept chirping. I gave up, and by 4:00, went back to sleep. For the next two and a half hours I would sleep for 46 seconds at a time before I would rudely be interrupted at the 47th second, until 6:30 when The Eldest woke up. The chirping continued all day long,  until my dear friend and esteemed colleague, Rabbi Yakov Schorr came over, and properly installed the battery-- something one would thing a college educated, ordained rabbi like myself could figure out how to do by himself. 

       For the next day and a half, as I made the kids lunches and cooked them dinners, (as my devoted tweeter followers know, I made them one night, fries and hashbrowns), I realized how awesome it was to be able to give so intensely to my kids, whom I love more than anything in the world. I felt closer to them than ever before, being able to give so much to them, who were relying exclusively on me. And it just confirmed to me something that our rabbis teach-- That the Torah requires that each person love their neighbor like they love themselves. The obvious question is, how in world can the Torah require an emotion? Either you love someone, or, you don't! One answer given is that the hebrew word for love is "AHAV." The word "hav" also means "give". So we learn that when someone wants to love someone, they should give to them, and they will come to love them. I never saw a more profound example of this, than when I was providing so much for my precious children. It made me feel so close and connected to them. I wanted to be a fly on the wall, to watch their little faces when they discovered the treats I snuck in their lunches. It made me feel something that I didn't think was possible-- an even deeper, and more profound love for those precious little buggers. 

      Henry, you have been a good listener. But I am not done. But this piece is already to long. So the rest will have to wait-- and it will have to: TO BE CONTINUED.....

                    Sincerely,

                    Danny Wolfe, AKA Rabbi D TRAIN aka Rabbi D UNIT